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Madison Howard

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lostscaredntired

2025-02-19 04:25:16

Got out once, is it worth trying again?

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OP please do some reading on toxic relationships and their impact on human brains or go to therapy. The “strong connection” you are feeling is not love, being in a toxic relations is like being on crack, you are addicted (this is scientifically proven) and you feel a strong attraction and connection to the person, even if you know he’s so so bad for you. Hence your heart is telling you that you “love” him when consciously you are well aware he’s not good for you, he’s toxic, he’s going to destroy you. What you are feeling now is the “high” of getting your fix. This is going to wear off real quick, it’s already wearing off, that’s why you feel you can’t let go of the resentment. When he goes back to his old ways, and trust me he will as soon as you get comfortable and feel safe, it’s going to hit you hard and you are going to have to start the recovery all over again. It is extremely hard to break the cycle of abuse, but you must do it if you want to have any chance at ever being truly happy, and not continue experiencing some sort of intoxicating euphoria you mislabel as love. I know the “high” feels so amazing, nothing like you’ve ever felt, but it’s not real.

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I wish I could upvote this 1000 times. Thank you for saying this. I KNOW you're right because I've identified a pattern where when I'm with him, I want to stay in the relationship, but when he has his daughter and we're apart for several days at a time, I want to leave. Then I see him again and I lose all my resolve. It's an exhausting cycle that I've let rule my life. It FEELS like an addiction. I forget about all the disrespect and how unhappy I was as soon as I'm in his presence and he KNOWS that and that's how he forced his way back into my life. If he really cared about me he would have respected my wishes and left me alone. I hate that I allowed myself to fall back into this situation. I told myself that I would lose respect for myself if I got back together with him, and here I am falling for it all over again. It's time to break the cycle.

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Question: did BM move on? Is that why he’s ready to have a relationship with you now? Has she finally found someone else who knows how inappropriate their “co parenting “ relationship was and has set boundaries for their new relationship? This guy is an absolute pig 🐷 please listen to your gut. It’s not even your heart saying to try again. Your heart was shattered by this man more than once. Don’t give him another shot. Have some self respect and walk away from this for good.

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No, I'm confident he wasn't stuck on BM. She had some bipolar tendencies and I saw how awful she was to him and would try to make his (and my) life hell if things didn't go exactly her way. He wanted nothing to do with her most of the time, but BM would push for them to play 'happy family' and it broke his heart having to shatter that for daughter. BM would even go low enough as to threaten to involve poor SD8 in her drama, painting SO as the bad guy when he wanted stricter boundaries. I know he was in a tough spot, but that is unfortunately the reality of divorce (especially when you marry someone so manipulative and narcissistic). Neither of us had any experience in this realm (both our parents are still together) and we definitely didn't handle the situation well.

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