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OkClaim3206

2025-03-12 16:23:55

Partner's personality changes

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I know this is hard. My husband was the smartest person I knew and the most patient. Now he barely talks to me. I feel like just a caregiver now. He is the father of my kids and none of this was his fault. Some days I dream of romance, intimacy, just laughing together. I am sorry, I am here if you need me.

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It's so VERY hard. And thank you for replying back to me.

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I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Unfortunately this does seem to be all too common. I lost my husband to a grade 3 astrocytoma in October after a 7 year battle. He became increasingly combative and angry, lost a great deal of empathy and displayed frequent confabulations in which he was steadfast in his belief that things had occurred differently than they actually happened. He was my high school sweetheart and the love of my life- this disease changed him so drastically that I still sometimes have a hard time remembering how things used to be. The brain cancer medical community does not seem to place a great deal of emphasis on this aspect of the disease and therefore it's hard to know the particulars of why these personality changes occur. Is it the tumor itself, the craniotomy, the treatments (radiation and chemo), medications, or a combination of all of the above? Who knows? I tried to get my husband to see a neuropsychologist many times but he refused. If your partner is willing, I would say it's worth a try. I am currently working with a neuropsychotherapist myself and her expertise in brain function/dysfunction has made me think that someone in her field of work may have been able to help him to some degree. For instance, my husband did not lack empathy completely but it was as though an outside person needed to walk him through it step by step. I think some empathy training may have been beneficial. He did participate in therapy but because the counselors that he worked with were not trained in this specific type of ailment, it was not very helpful. As a side note- just fyi- glioblastoma is by definition grade 4. I would assume it's possible your partner has a grade 3 glioma, such as an astrocytoma or oligodendroglioma. Grade 4 astrocytomas used to be classified as glioblastoma but they have since differentiated grade 4 astrocytomas with idh mutation and grade 4 astrocytoma wild type. Anyways- I wish you the best of luck. This disease is like no other and can be overwhelmingly lonely and extremely confusing when "your person" is suddenly no longer the person they once were. You are not alone.

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Thank you so much for replying! It's such a mean and ugly disease. I miss my person very much. I recommended therapy to him, but he shuts it down. I feel it would be beneficial to him, but he declines every time. So I finally stopped recommending it to him. I don't know if he and I will ever find our way back to each other. He's moved back with his family and they are not too far away. His family does not understand his personality changes either. I remember a member of his family recently told me he didn't used to be like this. They don't know if it had to do with the tumor or from the craniotomy. Like you said, it's tough to determine. I told him that if he doesn't want to be with me, that I still love him regardless and hope we can at least be friends.

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