Baby and family health

I really need somewhere to vent this all out if you have the time and mental space to read…I’m a 27 year old female and my pregnancy was great. I was induced 39 weeks due to my baby being large which had some complications and ended with a c-section. 3 days after being home by baby was helicoptered to a high level NICU in respiratory distress. We spent 36 days there (while we were there my father had cataract surgery that went wrong and he is now blind in one eye and my partner’s mother had a stroke). He was treated for sepsis, intubated, then on oxygen for a month. We found out he has a VSD (hole in heart septum) that was causing some complications which he was put on medicine for. They also did a plethora of genetic testing. We have been home now for about a month and some of the genetic results have come in. He was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease about a week ago. Yesterday the pediatrician sent us to the ER because he has blood and mucus in his stool. Now we are being sent to a GI doctor and testing his stool for infection and parasites (new puppy tested positive for giardia which is a whole other story of trying to make sure our other dog doesn’t have it too) along with me being recommended to cut milk out of my diet since I am breastfeeding. I just feel defeated. I am a healthy person who eats organic and have only ever been to the hospital once in my life. I rarely ever even get a cold. I don’t understand why we are being dealt these cards and I can’t help to feel like I’m failing my sweet baby. No one I know understands the mental load of this all and how I just cry all the time over my baby’s health.