My scars are too small and im pickme?

First of all, scars are always too big even if you have thoughts and didn’t do anything but i mean that my subconscious just dont get it and im just looking someone to identify with me😕

Do you ever feel insecure that your scars are too small? I don’t know why but i feel like im just pick me and faking all that because im looking for attention althought its been 2 years now and only my ex has seen them? If i see someone with scars that is ”not that bad as mine” i dont even think that those are small or anything??

Next is maybe TW? Im not sure😭

My fantasy is cutting that deep that i can see my skin rip STRAIGHT apart, BUT at the same time im scared and can’t do that???? Does this sound similar to anyone else or am i the only one?! 🥹

also im sorry for my english, im not good at it yet.