My (36F) husband (36M) caught lying about seeing another girl; do I end this before he does?

Update/More Fuel: We talked last night, and he told me he met this girl a few years ago in London while he was in a pub. They “got on”, exchanged numbers (he didn’t offer that, i had to ask). The million dollar rhetorical question: Did this happen while we were together? “Yes. Am I not allowed to get on with people?” I left the room.

My mother works for a law firm and has sent me the names of immigration lawyers. I’m processing everything I need to do before I make an emotional decision and potentially screw something up. The kindness-and humor- have been stabilizing and have genuinely kept my knees from shaking. Thank you, thank you, thank you. —————————————————————————————————————————— My husband moved here from London to marry me in February of 2017. Honestly, it was a weird transition going from long distance to suddenly living together and married, but I figured that was something we’d navigate together.

The last few months, I noticed a change in his Whatsapp activity- constantly online, last seen time stamps at really early hours in the morning...combined with zero sex, zero touching, barely any talking,I tortured myself over what could be going on.

Long story short: I confronted him about it, even used the name of the girl he was talking to (my friend was holding my husband’s phone when a message from her showed up) and he denied denied denied.

Tonight, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, I decided to scroll through Venmo feed. Seriously I was just vegging out and scrolling. Saw my husband’s name, and transfer to the girl’s name with the title “Damsel in Distress.”

Confronted him. Then he told me he’s having doubts about this, about us. I do understand how difficult it has been to move from London to a suburb, but my empathy stops there. The lies continued.

Tells me he booked a trip to Denver last Thursday to see “a mate”. I look up the girl on Facebook, what do you know, she lives in Denver. He then admits he was going to see her while he was there. The ease with which he lies is unnerving...

So here I am. He wants to work things out. I don’t.I don’t trust he won’t come back from Denver in July and tell me it’s over, and here I was, waiting for him and twiddling my thumbs. He’s controlling the situation, and my trust in him is gone. I want to tell him to either leave now, or plan to relocate to Denver bc he clearly has intentions.

How do I approach this? His “I want to try to fix this” rings hollow and leaves me open to be stomped on at his will.

TL;DR: Husband has been talking to another girl, lied about it, cites difficulty adjusting here, has flights booked to go and see her, and only told me because I pushed.