Relearning how to live without chaos?

Lately I have discovered that I really have some deep unhealthy patterns stemming from Growing up with a borderline mother. We carry so much of their emotional energy, stress, sadness, and chaos. Now as a 42 year adult, I have a pretty “normal”life. I have a pretty solid marriage, good job, healthy kids etc. so much to be grateful for. I think I sometimes feel I don’t Deserve it and self sabotage myself by inviting in unnecessary chaos in my life. I still want to help people and it’s hard to relearn boundaries. I feel kind of silly and stupid that I don’t already have these tools in my tool box. My autopilot is still set to put others who need help even if it puts additional stress on myself. I am tired of the pattern finally and recognize it’s damaging. I almost feel silly going to a therapist with this. Can anyone Relate?