I lost 60k in one day

Throwaway account for obvious reasons

I just want to vent - I came back from a Vegas trip down bad, and I was dejected for weeks

But that was only the beginning of my downfall

I work from home and yesterday, I called in sick because I was getting demolished in online blackjack before work

I was down about 5k, and in hindsight... I wish I stopped there

I couldn't deposit with anything because of bank limits I set, until... my credit card miraculously worked

I promptly loaded up 30k worth of cash advances within a 2 hour span, losing it all on blackjack - pushing the bets higher and higher to "break even"

Eventually, I went to my bank and grabbed $2500 cash, which is my daily limit, and drove 40 minutes to a real life casino

Went up, but I wanted it all back... so bet higher and lost that, too

I sulked back to my car, and tried another $1000 deposit with my credit card on my PHONE

It worked. I lost it all on one hand.

I get home in a daze, get drunk to numb the pain and foolishly try another $6k deposit with my credit card

For some reason... it worked, again. I lost it all within 30 minutes.

I ended up losing a down payment on a house in ~6 hours of degeneracy.

I could barely sleep last night. That was 3 years of rent. 10 years of 6K to the casino annually.

I'm at a loss for words, I don't want to eat. I read these stories all the time to try and check myself... but I never thought I'd be silly enough to have one of my own.

I have savings, but I don't make amazing money, and now... I'm basically working this year for free.

My girlfriend came over because I told her I was feeling down... but she would 100% leave me if she knew the truth.

I've self-excluded from every online casino, and I have to call my bank tomorrow because they thought it was FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY (because I've never spent/gambled like that).

I know the next steps are to stop cold turkey, go to GA, and fight this disease for the rest of my life.

But I just wanted to connect with some of you on here for immediate support.

ODAAT

EDIT: thank you all for the support and those who have reached out to me via DM

I actually find that chatting with you is basically GA, so if you want to talk... feel free to hit me up