How to announce?

Well, my partner and I have been trying for a long time and are finally pregnant. I've known from the start I'd want to wait a while to tell people about it, so I'm currently in my early 2nd trimester and I've told my boss (for accommodations) my BFF, and a few coworkers (because they are so indifferent, but polite. It was good "practice" telling people.)

I'm nervous telling people. I don't like attention, I feel awkward with compliments or people getting excited for me, and I've also not had the best reaction from people with other good news I've shared (when I got my graduate degree my Mom said, "oh, ok.")

My partner wants to disclose at 21 weeks which will be a big gathering with both our families, but we won't have our anatomy scan until 22 weeks. The more I think about it the more I want to tell people individually, and definitely later, at least after the anatomy scan. We've had a lot of grief and our families have ...not been the greatest...at supporting us through it. (They say the weirdest crap about our losses and failures and it makes me feel like they expect us to comfort THEM through our grief.)

Anyone else deal with something like this? How and when did you tell people? How did you handle the "weird" ones?