I was the toxic one.

I’ve been hiding it forever, but deep down I know my ex of five years didn’t deserve what I did to her, I was in first grade when we started the relationship and I carried her with me until seventh, when i broke it off with her because I was bored. I toyed around with her emotions and feelings and I’m not trying to make excuses for myself but she always seemed a burden to me, I’m not expecting any positive feed back but I wish I hadn’t been such a asshole to her, she was gorgeous and had beautiful curly brown hair, I loved her, well atleast that’s what I tell myself, but I know she didn’t deserve what I’d done to her, even if she was a bodyshamer to me, I had done much worse things, she only made me spiral out and become a worse person, but all I can do is wish the best for her, she had stalked me over the summer and instead of apologizing for what I had done I’d called up her grandmother and told her to get the hell away from me. I regret every minute and hour I’d spent with that women and I hope she’s doing better now, I heard she got a new girlfriend and she’s still cosplaying, I was visiting my grandma when my sister showed me a video of her cosplaying and at first I didn’t even recognize her until I saw her nickname. She doesn’t look better or worse, but she looks like she’s done well. I’m moved on by now, but I hope one day, I’ll finally get the courage to ask her for forgiveness, and I can truly apologize to her.