New polycritical sub in response to recent events :D
Hello, my wonderful mono folks! I'm here(with blessings) to let you know of the new sub I've created - r/PolyCriticalSafeHaven
This sub is a response to the most recent drama that befell a certain other sub that shall not be named. I promised I would do this while talking with many of you who felt that there was no place for you in the existing subs on the topic.
I'm copypasting the welcome message with the rules and main values specified. If you feel this sub fits the bill for what you're looking for - come on over so we can have some good ol' drama-free fun.
The ultimate goal of this community is to have free rein to express your experiences, thoughts, and queries regarding the dangers and toxicity of the poly community.
No type of non-monogamy will be defended or tolerated here—do not promote any of the following:
- Polyamory
- Open relationships
- Swinging
- Polyfidelity
- Monogamish
- Polycules
- Mono/poly couples
- Compersion
- Cucking
- ANY relationship model that ISN'T two people loving each other and being completely romantically/sexually faithful to one another
Polyamory is not love - it's lust and cheating in disguise.
This group is meant to reinforce monogamy as a more than valid lifestyle, reject any and all types of polyamory, and be a safe space for those who have already been burned by any of the above.
There are plenty of these groups—what makes us different perhaps:
No normalization of mental/emotional abuse will be allowed—do not promote any of the following:
- Compulsively checking one's partner's messages, social media, and any other means of communication
- Forbidding one's partner to be friends with either the same, opposite, or either sex, depending on their sexuality
- Toxic possessiveness—there is a difference between being faithful in a monogamous relationship and having someone control your every move
- Manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail of one's partner
- Intimidation—forcing one's partner to agree to certain controlling rules out of fear
- Any trauma response that people who have been burned by polyamory may resort to, which in turn traumatizes their new partner
Control is not love - it's abuse and often a trauma response. We are here to promote healthy monogamy that does not give the poly community an excuse to villainize us and call us controlling or abusive.
If a person has to do any of the above, the relationship is not worth a damn. Trust is built on trust between people who hold the same values. If we have to force someone into monogamy or impose insane rules to feel safe, that is something that needs to be addressed with a professional.
A truly happy, loving, and dedicated monogamous relationship will have two people with the same values and desires, and none of the above will be necessary.
I wish you all happy conversations and debates and implore you to be kind to one another!
P.S. Any of the people I've spoken with about this sub who wish to become mods are free to contact me so they can be vetted.
xoxo, SheDevil