The absolute state of my digestive system

I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis 3 and a half years ago. Had my second major flare up a couple of weeks ago and after a lengthy hospital visit, I saw how bad my colon looked, peak inflammation. New diagnosis is Crohn’s Colitis and I’m waiting for the biopsy results to tell me if I have cancer. I’ve lost over 20 pounds in the first week, everything makes me sick, and I felt like I was on the brink of death. The pain was so bad that I didn’t even want to recover, I wanted to be put out of my misery. And bros I missed so much work this month, my paycheck is going to be ass >:|