Gun ethics

When you imagine firing a weapon in self-defense or to protect another person, what does that stir up for you emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually? I'm Buddhist (half-baked, to be sure) and really committed to non-violence. And, I have loved ones who are especially vulnerable in light of the incoming US administration. Because I'm human, I want them to be safe, and I would do anything I can to make sure that happens. But the saying "live by the sword, die by the sword" comes to mind, and I fear that once I arm myself (again, as I owned a couple of guns in the past and then gave them up) I'm setting myself on a path I may regret and which, in the end, may actually make my loved ones (and me) less safe. Because the truth is whatever scenarios I can imagine possibly taking place (and I have a RICH imagination), there are far more chances of something unintended or bad happening when discharging a weapon is an option than of likely positive outcomes one could live with the rest of their life. The repercussions and implications of shooting another human being seem formidable and maybe outweigh whatever positive effect they would have in my life.