Tips for dealing with my very oldfashioned/traditional kosovarian family-in-law (soon to be married)

Hello! I've looked trough some marriage-posts before but feel like my situation is a bit different.

My boyfriend is originally from kosovo but grew up for most of his life in Switzerland. I'm (F) swiss, grew up very libaral, openminded, traveled alot, i'd say im generally very western-european in my way of life - as is my boyfriend. He's very different from his family, they're quite distant. His family is (Muslim, Kosovo-albanian) still stuck in the 90ies, since when they moved here. They're very oldfashioned/traditional. They never integrated well here, barely speak the language, and hold on dearly to their traditions (and lots of opinions). I'm open to learning about them, but they barely speak two words with me when we visit them.

My boyfriend and i want to get married. To make things easier with his family, they suggested to organize a wedding in Kosovo where they'll invite whoever needs to be invited according to their ideas/customs etc... they expect us to just do as they say for this wedding. My boyfriend and i will organize our own wedding according to our ideas here, and jokingly call the kosovo wedding "the parents wedding".

tbh i'm not sure his family even likes me, since we're culturally so different... and they're not really interested in learning about me. I've tried talking to them, but any conversations just dies within two three sentences as there is quite the language barrier.
Whenever they visit us or vice versa, they complain alot about our life/appartment-style etc. Nothing we do is ever good enough, and they're very vocal about it. One example was about not serving them properly, as the future wife and woman, while at our place where we prepared all the food/drinks etc to host them... They showed up with the whole family, sons, daughters, spouses and their kids unannounced. Trashtalked how we lived. Told us our furniture choices are terrible. Refused to entertaint the kids they brought along with them, and expected me to deal with them (not the mothers that were with them...). After 1-2 hours of this they just jumped up and left within minutes not really saying goodby to me or my boyfriend. They proceeded to not talk to us for months, and blame us for not contacting them after all this?!? This alone is very unusual behaviour for me... Is this normal??

I feel like they have alot of expectations i'm supposed to fullfill, but they refuse to talk to me about it. They feel like i should learn albanian and talk to them in albanian only, as well as learn their traditions and make sure they're carried on to our potential kids. I feel like they dont realise i'm not, and will never be kosovarian. They've been living here since over 25 years and still dont talk the local language. My boyfriend is not really enmeshed with the culture/religion etc the way his parents envision, which makes it also seem less important to me to do so. Even if his parents might expect it.

Does anyone have any tips in how to deal with this/survive his family/this wedding? Is any of this considered normal in Kosovo?