My hamster died

I won’t doom gloom and I will get to the point, I went to shower and I found him grasping for air with blood coming out of his nose, my first thought was to do cpr, I know I was being stupid but I was freaking out, then I thought maybe he choked on something and as I’m trying to find what to do on google a bunch of blood came out and he stopped breathing, I made sure to pet him and make him know I love him while he was drifting away, I feel horrible, I’m very very sad and I’m disappointed in myself I feel like I let him down and I wasn’t good for the responsibility, I loved Chris very much and I’m a very depressive person so I need a pet but I am so scared I will be irresponsible again and let the new pet down again, I feel very bad what do I do, I don’t even know why he died, I just feel stupid and I wish Chris was still here ):