Being genderfluid AMAB and not into HRT I feel hard to find someone to feel identified with.

I'm AMAB, 27 years old, pansexual. I still don't find anyone to share experiences about gender identity. I'm not into HRT since I feel afraid to try it and I don't want some of the secondary effects of it. I mostly fluctuate between female and androgynous identities and in very rare ocasions to completely male identities. Everytime I see genderfluid people are either AFAB or AMAB who are in HRT. And when I search for genderfluid non binary fictional characters, most of the time are nonhuman beings and/or shapeshifters.

I feel alone, even if my two boyfriends (both of them are cisgender) support me and my identity, helping me with my gender expression, I still feel that I'm too diferent of them and they don't understand me completely.