Questioning everything

Hey, I was admitted to Duke ED last month and I keep going between insanely happy and feeling like my head is gonna explode. My relationship ended right around the time I got in because my bf's dad tried killing my bf's brother and then himself. This sent me bf spiraling and he ended things because he was already losing his dad and couldn't handle recovering from that just to lose me when I went off to college. That was already a lot to deal with, and on top of that my mom is terminally ill with Huntington's and is very abusive as a result. I've always known this and it only motivated me to pursue neuroscience even more, but now that I'm actually leaving Im freaking out over what's gonna happen with my family after I'm gone because my little siblings see me as their mother figure. I'm suddenly questioning if I should even leave or if I even want to be a neurologist anymore even though I KNOW I'll regret not pursuing this path. I keep telling myself I should just go to PA school because I'll "probably be miserable in med school anyway" and I feel like everything I thought I knew about myself is wrong and that Im gonna end up wasting my time and just transferring back home. I feel so stupid and so confused and I'm so tired. My mom had another meltdown this past weekend where she was screaming violently and left home in a frenzy and since then I haven't stopped crying and wondering if Im making a mistake by leaving. I'm so tired, I just want this feeling to stop. I wanna feel happy about getting into a school I've busted my ass for but I'm so stressed all of the time.