Almost 10 years of depression that's done nothing but get worse

The new year marks year 8 of almost constant misery every single day. I felt like shit the entire holiday season. Lived it like a normal person would, went out with friends, gave and got gifts, watched movies. Nothing. I still felt like garbage. My brain is so fucked that I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I'm so tired of living life like this. When am I not going to feel like this? Life feels so meaningless now. I'm only ever exhausted, anxious, or depressed.

I have done everything people say you should do when you're depressed and I mean everything. I'm so tired of people telling me it's going to get better one day because if doctors can't cure me what the fuck else can? There's nothing I can do and people who don't know what it's like literally can't comprehend the hopelessness of my situation. I wish I could've been born with a normal persons brain.