I feel defeated and alone

I (M26) have been feeling so alone and defeated by life I guess. To summarize I have a really bad relationship with my family, they've abused me physically and mentally since I remember and the physical abuse ended when I was maybe 15-16. I was also raped when I was 6-8 by an uncle for some time and never told my abusive parents because in my head, that would break them and didn't want them to suffer. So after being raped daily, I had to go sad to school so I could get bad grades because of being confused, sad, bullied and alone to then coming back home to being hit and verbally abused for being bad at school.

I always have this feeling that anything I have done hasn't made any good impact, I feel drowned in sadness, don't want to talk to anyone because I feel I'm "independent" since I've always been doing things for myself.

I don't feel supported, and it's hard for me to come to the idea that I don't really have people that love me, a father or a mother and it hurts a lot.

I want to leave, stop talking to them, but everything is expensive and hard to get, I'll always live with this feeling that I don't have parents...

Any words of help?