9 years in March - F31 M34

My partner and I have been together for 9 years in March. There have been many discussions around weddings over the years; but 2 years ago (almost to the day) we had a huge argument and I lay my cards on the table. I thought he'd at least been saving for a ring as whenever I had bought up the topic he hushed me, but it transpired that he had not and was actually in some credit debt.

This was really upsetting for both parties and I felt terrible for digging so hard. We transferred the 5k debt to my 0% credit card and eventually paid it off. We've had conversations since, but I've been met many times with "don't spoil my plans" and so I haven't pushed the topic too much.

The beginning of last year was rocky and I spent a lot of time in my own head, wondering if we should break up. He lost two jobs in a short space of time (his own fault), but then started his own business and so has put a lot of money and time into that. I felt trapped as we've always shared funds, but overnight I became the breadwinner.

I opened a secret saver pot and started putting a bit of money away as I realised I'd be stuck if I wanted to leave. I also began learning to drive so I'll eventually have more independence if I need to move.

Fast forward to today, I'm doing some life admin and opening a new credit card and he mentions that he should probably do the same. He has racked up just over 4k of debt again, and has failed to mention this. I was initially frustrated because it's so irresponsible, however I've just realised that it's two years on from the big argument about the exact same thing.

He has casually mentioned a few times recently that we could have a baby and worry about getting married after. I have told him I will not be having a baby till we are married, and if it did happen the baby would be taking my surname.

I get along so well with his siblings and their partners, and my family adore him. It would be really difficult to break up over this as I have come to understand that relationships are not black and white. But.. am I absolutely kidding myself here?! His brother proposed to his partner of 8 years in Spetember, so maybe there is some hope. But I can't help but feel a bit icky about the whole thing after so many discussions, and wondering if it ever happens will I still have that fairytale feeling?