9 years in March - F31 M34

My partner and I have been together for 9 years in March. There have been many discussions around weddings over the years; but 2 years ago (almost to the day) we had a huge argument and I lay my cards on the table. I thought he'd at least been saving for a ring as whenever I had bought up the topic he hushed me, but it transpired that he had not and was actually in some credit debt.

This was really upsetting for both parties and I felt terrible for digging so hard. We transferred the 5k debt to my 0% credit card and eventually paid it off. We've had conversations since, but I've been met many times with "don't spoil my plans" and so I haven't pushed the topic too much.

The beginning of last year was rocky and I spent a lot of time in my own head, wondering if we should break up. He lost two jobs in a short space of time (his own fault), but then started his own business and so has put a lot of money and time into that. I felt trapped as we've always shared funds, but overnight I became the breadwinner.

I opened a secret saver pot and started putting a bit of money away as I realised I'd be stuck if I wanted to leave. I also began learning to drive so I'll eventually have more independence if I need to move.

Fast forward to today, I'm doing some life admin and opening a new credit card and he mentions that he should probably do the same. He has racked up just over 4k of debt again, and has failed to mention this. I was initially frustrated because it's so irresponsible, however I've just realised that it's two years on from the big argument about the exact same thing.

He has casually mentioned a few times recently that we could have a baby and worry about getting married after. I have told him I will not be having a baby till we are married, and if it did happen the baby would be taking my surname.

I get along so well with his siblings and their partners, and my family adore him. It would be really difficult to break up over this as I have come to understand that relationships are not black and white. But.. am I absolutely kidding myself here?! His brother proposed to his partner of 8 years in September, so maybe there is some hope. But I can't help but feel a bit icky about the whole thing after so many discussions, and wondering if it ever happens will I still have that fairytale feeling?

EDIT: When I picture myself a year from now I would kick myself if I was in the exact same situation. I've had a rough few years dealing with a stressful job, and when he lost his job it built resentment as it made me feel stuck in a job I hated, and my fuck it fund was spent on living costs to cover us.

At this point I can't even imagine him being able to organise anything special to propose as I carry the mental load and look after all our life admin - if I leave it to him it never gets done.

I mostly work from home, but I still do almost everything in our home, so resentment also builds when he points out I haven't hung his clothes correctly or similar comments.

We have a pet which makes just moving a bit more complex in a city that is already expensive and not pet friendly. I'm hoping to give it another 6 months to get myself financially sorted, and pray he doesn't give me a ring in that time.

He actually isn't a terrible person, he is kind and funny. But the thought of having a baby, dealing with a stressful job and looking after us both terrifies me.

The funny thing is his previous job was well paid and he had been there over 16 years, he made mistakes and paid the price. Now this situation has taken away the idea of buying a property or getting married or even being financially secure for the foreseeable future.

Thank you for all your wisdom.