Update/ dealing with a breakup

A few days ago i asked if i should end my relationship after supporting my boyfriend of 5 years.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Waiting_To_Wed/s/Ffkv6nieC5

He helped me a lot in my decision by telling me the next day that he doesn't think he is able to have a relationship right know. After 5 years of having one with me. I think he just wanted some support from me and some positive "we can do it together!"-sayings but i snapped, called him, told him that he is a Bastard who is so afraid of changing that he does rather let go of a longterm relationship I would (and did) have done everything for. Because...how dare he?

I am still very mad at him and had all of his things outside of my apartment and 5 years worth of chats and pictures deleted from my phone. I ripped out his little letters from my diary and slept in a bed without sheets for two days because we made these sheets together and i don't want to sleep in them. I had him deleted out of my life a few minutes before 2025 began.

But slowly the anger dissolves and i start to miss him. Suddenly not being able to call him because i cooked something nice for us hurts. Laying alone in the cold bed hurts. Not being able to text him whenever i miss him hurts. I had to call in sick for two days because i can't fall asleep and i have to get up at 4 am for work. Most of my friends don't have time right now.

How do you deal with all this breakup pain? Luckily he doesn't have any social media i can look up.

I would also love some happy ending stories from you!