Mother told me I should get raped and then I would know.

TLDR: I wanted to wear a dress to office and my mother said I should get raped and then I would know because she doesn't approve of me wearing dresses now due to the news of several brutal rapes in the country.

I (31F), single, stay with my parents. I work remotely and have to go to office only once a month. This month, the day I need to travel to work is day after tomorrow, Friday.

Since I work remotely since Jan 2023, I have not really shopped for office clothes or otherwise. I am making do with whatever I had in my closet since 2022. I am depressed and have social anxiety and so all of my time in the last 1.9 years was spent at home. So I do not see the point of spending on clothes when I have nowhere to go.

So I was discussing with my mom this afternoon about how I was planning to wear this one dress to work which I wore for my birthday dinner with my family. The conversation went like this: Mom: you will not wear that dress to work. Your bust and ass get highlighted in that dress. I have PCOS and a huge para ovarian cyst that was diagnosed last month. I have thus put on a lot of weight Me: I am fat. So it will be visible no matter what I wear. It is also visible in kurta sets. Mom: You act like you know too much. Everyone stares at your chest when you go out. It is so embarrassing. You know what happened when you were young and you still want to wear such clothes. See what is happening around you. Such brutal rapes. You still do not understand that you need to cover yourself. I was groped as a 11year old in a market while I was out shopping with my parents. My mother somehow blames me for this Me: I didn't ask you what I should be wearing. I was just telling you. I will decide what I should and should not wear. You need not worry about me and comment unnecessarily. Mom: Until you stay in my house, I will tell you what I feel like. If you don't want to hear what I have to say, move out. I've been planning to move out since a year now. My parents do not allow me to do that. I cannot even take a job in another city as they said they would not let me go as it is not safe. Also, they emotionally blackmail me since my dad is undergoing cancer treatment and my mom too does not keep well often Mom: I hope someone ra*es you. Your life would be ruined and you would not be able to show your face anywhere. Then you would cry and noone would come to help you. This has already happened with you when you were young and you still learn nothing from it.

I didn't know what to say. I just came to my room. I hate my life. I do not see the point of living. I do not wish to get married or have kids. I have dog i ove with all my heart and honestly he is the only reason I'm living.

I'm not happy, not healthy physically, mentally. I do not have many friends. My relationship with my parents is garbage.

My mom has always had issues with me because I have a heavy bust. I do not understand how am I at fault? It's not like I did something for this to happen.

She only wants me to wear oversized tshirts. But then she complains that I don't look girly ( I've stopped wearing earings, was never into any other jwellery), I don't take care of myself(I've stopped waxing; can't get myself to go through the pain when I only have to sit at home), I do not do my eyebrows ( I hate it), I do not bleach my face(I have a wheatish complexion).

I understand that my mother does not like when men stare at me but does that mean I should be raped?

Edit: I make enough to move out and still support my parents financially like I do now.

By "allowed", I literally mean allowed. I have been meaning to move out with my dog since last year and informed my parents about it. They were okay with it until they realised I wasn't bluffing and was actually saving to be able to move out and get myself some furniture and other things. They then said they would not let me move because "what will people say- an unmarried girl living alone with her dog" and that I would be an easy target for men nearby to misbehave since they would know I live alone.

I do plan to move out sometime next year since we are soon moving to our new house in the next month and I do have financial liabilities (which will eat up most of my savings) that I need to take care of. I can't move until I've saved up enough for a rainy day.

My parents have really sacrificed a lot for me and I am aware of all that they do. It is because of this reason that I can't get myself to move away from them. But I will move out ASAP even if I live nearby.