He got Committed. A quick update to This Isn't about the Meal you didn't cook...

We were stonewalling. He was going to leave. Then he decided that the spare bedroom was perfect. He got an old job back at a fast food joint but the truck he has won't take a registration (or pass inspection) and is falling apart. This is why he didn't drive it back to his home state.

My parents were supportive, then what felt like very unsupportive, until last night when shit hit the fan and my father was everything I needed and more.

It started with grey rocking my wasband. Until his BPD raged and he needed to know if I was cheating on him (during this legal separation). I spoke calmly but he only wanted to argue the same things. So I walked up to my parents house (we live on the same property but large farm). My father was worried and he stated as such. He told me that he raised me to go toe to toe with any man and not let them dictate me. He told me that being soft hearted was my strength and weakness. But sometimes it's time to not be nice. You don't have to be mean but you can take back control. With an hour long talk I went back down to speak calmly to my wasband.

And that's where it went to shit fast. I spoke calmly (like someone from HR talking to an employee). I let him get out the mean things he's been saying like: you're throwing away the last 5 years. We took vows to be with each other through thick and thin. You're abandoning me. Can't we just try a trial separation and not a divorce??

I stood by my decisions and even told him at one point that he was welcome to express his feelings and anger but that he can do them in his own room and not in the rest of my house because his space is his room. It went bad and he threatened to kill himself and told me to drive him to the hospital.

We got in the car and he is raging angry saying he wouldn't have lived if he didn't think we had a chance and I was incredibly honest with him. I was so shakey and scaredni actually backed my car into my parked truck. At one point as we got into town he tried to open the door and jump out. I said he needed to be seen and wasn't safe. He said he would just off himself after the hold was up. I felt no emotions just the need to get there safely. We got there and he screamed at me in the parking lot like I've never seen before. He said just take me home. I said you can't come home now. Go inside and get better. After a lot of arguing I finally pulled the uno reverse card and said that if he ever cared about me he would go get help. I was sobbing and he told me he loved me and yelled at me to say it back. I told him "please get better".

And he walked in and was committed.

My father stopped me before I left for work this morning and told me that now was my chance. Hw didn't want him there and was worried. And so I called my wasbands mother and left a message to talk tonight. When that 72 hour hold is up he is going home to his home state with his parents or best friend. There is no other option. I purged my feelings last night in a ridiculous Rollercoaster and now..

Now I feel free. I did it. I can breathe now. I can fix this. He said he'd never sign the papers and i told him a judge will wait him out and then sign off so it doesn't matter. I don't believe the words he said last night and I know my life is going to be absolutely incredible.

I will update again after the weekend but please know that I am safe and the support on here has helped me take charge and not feel bad for doing so. Thank you all.