I'm married, can i still spend half my sparetime with my friends?
I (f33) have a lot of friends. They are amazing and I love them. I know, I'm lucky.
We go to the teater, to concerts, have dinner, hit the city and the clubs, and we play sports, go on hikes and share hobbies. And travel.
I also have an amazing husband (m46) we have been married for 7 years and together for 12. We share hobbies, go on a lot of dates and have a so much fun together. We also just chill, game and read books. We knew from the beginning that we wasn't going to sign up for the family package. We live in the city, have fancy jobs and a fancy appartment with a view. We are uncle/aunt to our niblings and friend's children.
The issue - i have always shared my sparetime equally between my husband and freinds. I spend 2 weekdays with friends, 2 with Husband, and every others weekend i go out with my friends and every other weekend I spend with my husband. I have 5 weeks of paid vacation and spend 3 with my husband and 2 with friends.
Sunday I do the shopping, meal prep for the days my husband will have to eat by himself and i clean the appartment and do the laundry. When my husband and I both are home i cook. We both clean up a bit and do the dishes during the week.
My husband have however been sad a lot lately . He says we never see each other, and he wants us to spend more time together and go on more dates. He feels lonely. I get his feelings are real, and i feel bad for him. And i told him that. And we talked for a bit.
But when i trace back my calender I can see I'm with him half of all my spare time. I can see i haven't changed, and i don't spend less time with him. But he is still feeling that way. He is my person and of cause he is the one person i spend the most time with. And my question for you strangers of the internet is: am I unreasonable?
I don't want to scale back my social life. I have chosen this lifestyle for a reason. BUT i love him, and maybe i should, spend less time with my friends. I know a lot of married couples with children and houses spend almost all their time together and maybe I'm unreasonable for wanting my friends to be so much in my life.
And I have tried to help my husband make more freinds of his own. I have called up his friends and arranged playdates, i have set up a weekly activity for us to do together with some of his friends, i have introduced him to my friends (but the age gab is a bit of an issue on that part), and I invite him to come to a lot of my activities with my friends, but he decline 9/10 times.
English isn't my first language, so please be gentle.
Edit:
I would like to thank you all for some valuable outside perspectives. And I will sit him down and have a talk about how I can help him feeling less lonely and ask if it is just an issue about time or If it's something else. And see if we can find a compromise that work for both of us.
I wanted to add two things. I can see there have been some misunderstandings about the calender. I didn't show my husband my calender, and told him he was wrong for feeling like he does. I just looked in the calender myself and made sure I hadn't changed how much time I spend with him. And I haven't. I have tried making that part more clear in the post..
To all of you people who are telling me "your husband should be your priority": Are you guys actually planning a whole Friday and Saturday with one on one time with your spouse every other week? Or one day every weekend? No chores, no distractions, but actually quality time. Are you planning 3 weeks of vacation just for the two of you? Are you dedicating a day every week to a shared hobby. Not family dinner, not training together for an hour, or just being home together but actually spending a whole evening every week on something together that you both love? In my point of view, my husband and I are having a lot of quality time compared to other couples.