My boyfriend won’t pay me my promised salary, because he wants to fund his sisters 3rd wedding.
I (35F) am back with my ex (39M). He’s the love of my life and this time, he asked me to work at his new company. After six months of dating, I agreed and started as a clerk on minimum wage.
His assistant was supposed to train me but didn’t. I took over some of her tasks out of boredom and it became clear she wasn’t competent. After she almost ruined a $200k deal, my boyfriend fired her, and I had to take over her role.
I negotiated a 30% higher salary than hers because I was also handling project management. He agreed but said I’d have to prove myself by the end of the year, before he pays me that much money. My new salary would be double the national average for full-time work, even though I only work 30 hours a week.
It’s January, and I’m supposed to get my new salary, but my boyfriend says he can’t pay me yet because a major client hasn’t paid their invoices. Meanwhile, his sister, who also works at the company, borrowed $15k from him for her February wedding. That is actually my fault, as I told her that we want to marry and I showed her my Vision Board, big mistake.
She didn’t have a wedding celebration at her second marriage, so she spontaneously decided to get married again. The shock was deep, especially since she was supposed to help me plan my wedding. Btw she earns almost double my salary for working four hours a day. This is her second Job. She has 2 part time jobs.
So he already payed the half of her wedding and wants to pay the rest by the end of January beginning February and I am so mad. Cause it’s almost the amount of 2 salary’s I would usually get. So yeah half of her wedding is funded by me.
He can pay for his sister’s wedding, but he can’t even pay me my salary? I don’t even know if I’ll get it in February, and he justifies it by saying I’ll receive it retroactively. Oh, and that doesn’t make it any better. I didn’t get the Dyson Airstrait he promised me for Christmas either—not that I want him to buy it for me anymore. I’ll get it myself.
When I heard today that the client paid part of their invoice, I jokingly asked if I’d finally get my Dyson. He rolled his eyes and was annoyed. He. Was. Annoyed. The man who didn’t keep his promise. His sister’s wedding is more important to him than my feelings.
I feel completely ignored and frustrated with both him and his sister, who, by the way, suggested I get a second job. Not only did she ruin my excitement for planning my wedding, but she’s also the reason I’m not getting my salary. Guess what? She still got hers—the full amount—double what I currently make. And while I’m at the office for six hours a day, she only works four. She knows about the salary and she didn’t even apologize. At this point if it was me I would’ve called it off!!
At this point, I just want to do my job and leave. No more unpaid overtime and I don’t even want to see him. Today he literally told me so what? You can quit if you don’t like it.
EDIT:
I’ll try to answer some questions here:
Yes, I have a contract for my current position and salary.
In the country where I live, it’s not easy to sue someone. He gave me a verbal agreement regarding the new salary.
We broke up because he was always working, and we grew apart. After the breakup, he supported me financially for a year.
Before entering this relationship again, we went to couples therapy.
He is usually very generous. Over the summer, he paid for a vacation that cost several thousand euros. Afterward, he hired a driver to take me and our dog to my family so the dog wouldn’t have to endure the stress of flying. I stayed with my family for a month, and during that time, he gave me spending money. He also paid for my business-class flight back home and covered a €1,000 car repair. Whenever we go to restaurants, I never have to pay.
What bothers me in this situation is that he says I’m his girlfriend and should make sacrifices for him. His reputation within his family is very important, and now it’s widely known that he’s paying for his sister’s wedding. Canceling that would obviously be humiliating for him.
The fact that his sister stole my idea and turned it into a show for herself doesn’t help either. I think it’s selfish of her, especially since she knows I won’t receive my promised salary now because she can’t afford her wedding herself. Instead, she’s “paying it off” by working for him. She reduced her full-time job to part-time just to work for him. After both of us were in the company, the wedding plans began.
That said, she’s generally very kind and friendly. For example, when the old assistant yelled at me, she immediately took my side. If her brother acts unfairly toward me, she often speaks to him, and he usually realizes his mistake. He’s very introverted and doesn’t have much of a social circle.