Homeowner. My “One Bag To Rule Them All” kit

AKA r/tools - you have created a monster.

I’m fully aware that these tools are, by and large, better than my skills.

Yes, many are quite new looking. Shoot me. I clean my tools. And I’m not a pro. Actually, I’m not even a handyman’s areshole.

But fuck it. I decided a few years back to stop buying shitty tools when I needed something specific. I discovered Reddit around the same time. To be honest, you fuckers helped create this.

However, this bag has everything I need to get shit done around the house and then some.

The bag is the Toughbuilt Medium Tool Tote. I know there’s lots of speculation about the company, but the gear fucking rocks. And is well priced. This tote is solid AF.

Gear

Knipex 180mm Pliers Wrench. Easily the best size for this beauty. I love it.

200mm Cobra. Ditto

Twin Grips. Fuck these are useful given I only got them cos they look cool. Grabbier than my uncle after 6 scotch and drys.

200mm combo pliers. Not Linesman. These are better. Come at me.

185mm Needle nose pliers

Weird small 145mm useful needle nose pliers with a cutout for holding nails because I am kinda uncoordinated.

160mm needle nose pliers for, like, small places. My daughter who is crafty loves these, actually.

Flush cutters. So I don't hurt my delicate hands on those nasty cable ties

Diagonal cutters.

Note - Aussies are not allowed to play with electricity unless licences. The VDE gear is largely because I got them on special and the handles are actually awesome. I ‘definitely’ wouldn’t move a wall outlet all by myself.

Wera Philips 2. Obvs

VDE Philips 1 and 3.5mm flat - see above for VDE notes.

Tool Check Plus. So fucking useful.

1/4” Zyklop. Not nearly as useful. But 11/10 coolness factor. No regrets.

Metric Allen Keys. We don't need Imperial. Except when we do. Then I'm shit outta luck, frankly

Stubby Ratchet. For screwing in small places. Oh to be young again

Vessel

Chisel Driver. This sucker is amazing. Literally a screwdriver with though tang and striking plate that is actually a chisel. Like, $20. Go buy one.

Philips ball end ratchet. I probably grab this the most. Cheap. Useful. Great tip. Actually super annoying switch positioning, but I forgive it.

6mm flat head. I prefer this to the Wera flat head because it feels more… pryable. You know what I mean.

PB Swiss

Ratcheting screwdriver. Yeah. I watched all the reviews on You Tube. I spent too much money. I don’t use it a lot. But when I do I feel like if Thor would if he had a screwdriver not a hammer.

Pick Set. Replaced a $5 eBay set without being any more functional. However, sexy AF. Actually, one of the picks has a two way bend and is actually amazingly useful. This is hands down my most pointless tool purchase. I love them.

Mini Empire Speed Square. Small enought for the bag. Not big enough to be useful.

Pico Pencils. I have two because I bought the 0.9mm first, literally not realising they were not the ones everyone raves about. The 3030 is the GOAT. I have spare leads as well

Temu pointy texter - it has a long skinny point perfect for marking screw holes. I stole this from my boss.

Eraser. My crafty daughter? ‘Borrowed’ this from her.

Sharpie. Classic.

Lufkin Nite Eye 8m tape measure. Best ever. Not gonna argue with the Fat Boy freaks.

Milwaukee utility knife. As much as I’m Dewalt and Makita - Milwaukee nailed this one. It’s almost an iconic design by now.

Stabila Torpedo Level. Sola are better, when you are old and your eyes are fucked. But the form factor of this is perfect for fitting in the bag. And it is expensive enough to satisfy.

4140 pry bar - this is a cheapie, not the ARES. Even I have limits apparently. Teensy Vaughan Pry Bar. 6”, I think. Whatever the fuck an inch is. Handy. Compact. Apparently still made in the USA. Whatever. I like the colour.

Purdy 6 in 1 painters tool. This fucker was $12 even in Australia (we get raped, price wise) and is amazing. Second most used tool after the Milwaukee utility knife. Full tang and strike plate FTMFW.

UNI-T Multimeter. Not that I use this. As Aussies are not allowed to play with electricity. Really good quality for the price though.

Franklin Stud Finder. I use the fuck outta this and wish I bought a decent model decades ago. It also always confirms that I am a stud which is useful.

Klein folding jab saw. Really handy. Way too chunky for my little hands though. Not as much fun as a multitool

Wiss Utility Shears. Really great cutters, hate the handles.

Wiss 10” scissors. Great blades, great ergonomics too.

Mumme 225g Cross Pein Hammer. Hey. I needed a tiny hammer to fit the bag. Also, I’m a klutz. Mumme is an Aussie brand that even Aussies have never heard of. Again, nice shade of blue though. Whats the point of a hammer if it’s not pretty?

Irwin Auto Wire Strippers. These are ok. I don’t do electrical stuff though, obvs

Convoy Right Angle Flashlight. Great work light - Nichia 519a 5k LED for perfect colour rendition. For when I’m not looking a different coloured electrical cables. Check out r/flashlight if that makes no sense. Be prepared to lose several days if you do.

SOFIRN S21 Headlamp. Rotate the light to change from spot to flood to both. Makes me feel like a nerdy Cyberman. According to my wife it also makes look as sexy as a dead hedgehog.

WD40. Smells great. Also lubes shit. Fuck you lube deniers.

3 in 1 oil. Useful, apparently. I've never used it.

Duct tape, teflon tape, electrical tape. Also Super Glue for when I need to fasten my fingertips to each other..

Small plastic case of fasteners. Which are always either too long, too short or the wrong gauge.

Reusable cable ties. Well, fuck. Seriously the third most useful thing i discovered on this here subreddit!

Riggers gloves. Worn when I need to feel more manly. Which is most of the time. Don't judge.

Dewalt Impact driver. Tiny little poweful ugga dugga beast. I seriously laugh when I see people scoff at this becuase it’s Atomic branded in some markets. This little beast will drive screws through anything. I'm literally afraid to use speed 3 - pretty sure you need some kind of trade certification first.

Long Vessel PH2 bit, centre punch (Rennsteig cos it’s German and I am a wanker, obvs), nail punch.

So yeah. It weighs a shit ton but makes me feel like a DIY god. Every single time I hang something on the wall.

Flame away. I can take it.