Sometimes, being outed before one feels ready is a good thing

I was outed before I felt ready to be out. At the time, it seemed to me like a complete betrayal. Someone took a decision that was mine and threw it out the window. Obviously, I still think outing someone without their consent is the wrong thing to do for most people and in most circumstances. I just no longer think it's wrong for everyone all the time. Looking back, it absolutely helped me. I have no doubts it spared me from something I would have dragged out for even longer, with significant psychological and emotional costs both for me and the people around me.

Before it happened, I was in this constant state of self-monitoring and lying to myself and others. I worried about who knew, who didn't, who I trusted, and how to evade difficult questions and conversations. It was exhausting. Suddenly, there was nothing to put off anymore. The decision had been made for me. The moment felt awful, but what came after wasn’t as bad as I feared. And I am the kind of person who sometimes needs to be pushed by those around him so as not to stagnate and constantly flee back to his comfort zone. I am sure I am not the only one. For some of us, being outed before we feel ready may be a good thing because we will never feel as ready as we are.

EDIT: I don’t want to keep repeating this in every reply, so I’ll say it one last time: I have never intended to downplay how harmful being outed can be. I fully recognise the damage it can cause and do not deny that it ruins lives. Nor have I claimed that cases where outing is wrong are mere edge cases—quite the opposite. I’ve acknowledged in my replies that my case is rare. All I’m arguing is that it exists.