Fellow Apes!

I've figured out a plan and it literally can't go tits up.

Someone gave me a plat award! SO...

I'm handing out rehypothecated plat awards to everyone who posts on r/Superstonk today!!

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No strings attached. Just comment somewhere on the sub at some point today.

Obviously this is a big time commitment from me, but I'm doing it because I love this community.

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Also, if you can't see the plat award, don't worry... it's there. It's just short. I promise to deliver down the line.

Also, also! Feel free to rehypothecate your awards you get from me. This will go down as reddit's most generous day ever and literally can't go tits up!

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Edit 1: After 30 minutes, plat SI% is 42.0%. We're fine.

Edit 2: After 45 minutes, plat SI% is 690%. Give me a minute.

Edit 3: After 46 minutes, plat SI% is back down to 6.9%. Carry on.

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Edit 4: Four hours in, and all these drones are freaking me out. I'm keeping the lights on all night, just in case.

Edit 5: Six hours in, and I'm totally not funneling all-seeing eyes through the Caymans with my friends. The end is totally not nigh. No way this goes tits up.

Edit 6: Eight hours. Unplugged the phone. Go away, Marge.

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Edit 7: Final Edit

This is Agent Smith of the Platinum Exchange Coin Registrar. On behalf of PECR, I need to inform you that u/Apprehensive-Salt-42 has been shut down, and his platinum seized.

u/Apprehensive-Salt-42 was found in violation of several, albeit small, PECR regulations. The investigation is still ongoing, so we will not comment further beyond saying:

Buy, HODL, Vote, and don't engage with small PECRs.

-Agent Smith, Big Swinging PECR