Dark thoughts are crossing my mind; I need HELP

I have fucked up. I am 5980$ in debt (It's a loooot of money where I come from) and I am behind deadlines. There's no way I can come up with the money...
Everything was perfectly fine just one year ago. Covid destroyed my life. And now I've lost everything, and everyone. Lost my job, my life, debts piled up, girlfriend left me at my worst, etc.
I am utterly heart-broken, and I have constant anxiety attacks.
I value life over death, but my life "quality" has degraded significantly to a point where I can no longer keep up...
I can't seem to fix my money issues. No matter what I do. Been working 2 jobs for 3 months now and still haven't been able to pay off even 5% off it. I've lost my dignity and my pride. A legislation is about to begin in 10 days, and that's my end. Literally the end for me.
How do I fight the urge to end all this...? I mean, I can't, ever, repay these unless some miracle happens. And I can't live on like this either. I've lost about 6 kilos in 2 weeks. I can't eat, sleep or do anything properly. My hands shake constantly and my voice trembles.
I hate myself for all this. I hate the fact that I'm thinking about ending my life to escape the problems. A total pathetic loser. But I am in a dead end, I really am. I've thought about everything, and there's no way out.
I never thought I would ever be in a place like this. I never thought I would succumb to such things... but well...