I feel like I'm existing

Hi everyone, so I am a single mom of one child who is a toddler. I haven't been the same since becoming a mom. I feel like a robotic at times. I'm in my 30s and I also have zero friends, and no family except toxic narcissistic ones I avoid. I never also really had friends. My mom (single mom also) was emotionally abusive growing up, and I'm also a only child. I feel so alone, and numb. Should I talk to a doctor? I also feel like a terrible mom at times. I let my child watch too much TV so I can consume my time being on my phone and being numb to everything. Do you think my lack of friendship is due to autism? I don't think I'm autistic, but I feel like normal humans are able to connect with people, but as for me I' m afraid to meet new people due to trust issues. Is something wrong with me?