Just...don't want to get stuck; again

Recently became an Athiest, but have been interested and "drawn" to anything having to do with witchcraft for much of my life. But I not only don't want to be close-minded, I also don't want to get caught in another cult. I'm really afraid of this. I'm trying to respect myself in that I could very well believe in something else a decade from now and allow myself to carefully do that, but for now I don't really wanna believe in anything, really. Guess I'm trying to take control in the best ways possible of myself (emotions, mental state, etc.) and I find certain things interesting and a huge part of me wants to try witchcraft due to the tiny part left in me that still accidentally prays when a crisis happens or I'm having a panic attack...or just simply can't function right throughout the day aa those were things I used to pray about...constantly. But I don't mean this to be rude: I feel like I'll just be pretending to do a spell. Pretending it works. Possibly feeling better, but don't wanna end up pretending to feel or be better on any level and start going into my actual previous (scary) delusional thinking I had for so long. But like I said...I've been wondering about this stuff for a long time, so I know it's not just 'Now that I'm no longer a Christian this is the only reason I do these things.' XD

I'm trying to refocus, but I no matter how much I look into things I feel like it's like the religion I left all over again in that people are spellcasting (some call it prayer with props) which is like praying and claiming stuff is answered...like I used to. And people are doing all sorts of things ritualistically just like other religions and again...claiming it works, but it doesn't make any sense to me and I can't see any proof? I think the smell of the spices people use in some spells would be amazing together...but how does that cinnamon do anything for that thing you're trying to do, exactly? How are they connected in any way shape or form? It makes as much sense to me as walking under a ladder, stepping on a crack (which sounds very much OCD, also) and they're really not related, but our brains are so powerful that we react to it.

Sorry. I just wanted to know if anyone here felt similar. I wanna try this, but I've got questions that look like there are no answers for just like with the religion/cult I left... and I'm terrified of getting stuck again.