Why is existential OCD so little talked about?

Wether it's on this subreddit or any other OCD community I basically never see anyone talk about existential OCD which really baffles me because I truly do believe it's the scariest possible theme and the one which can cause the most despair

I've had OCD ever since I was single digits age, and I've had many different themes throughout then including symmetry/repetition OCD, pedo OCD, harm OCD, body dysmorphic OCD, relationship OCD & health OCD, but absolutely no other theme has completely disabled me and taken my life away like existential OCD has

I basically just live in bed now unable to move or do basically anything because the slightest thing just triggers weird thoughts about existence and consciousness which triggers unbearable torturous fucking panic attacks every time, I hardly ever eat or shower or anything now, all I do is just lie in bed completely still trying to forget this unbearable overawareness of my consciousness and existence I've been cursed with, even just watching TV or going on my phone can induce weird thoughts and make me panic, no other theme has done this to me, the only other OCD theme which came close to this one is my health OCD when I constantly thought I had motor neurone disease or some other lethal condition, but even that never left me completely bedridden with terror, and I'd do ANYTHING to have my health OCD back in exchange for the existential OCD

Its actually really really hard to convince myself it's just my OCD because I truly 100% think I've just become too aware of how scary and absurd existence and consciousness is, I feel like literally any person would become bedridden every day if they gained the same awareness and thoughts that I have, it feels literally dangerous to life, like it's an immediate self destruct button in your brain that everyone has but only a few people ever access

I think im very very close to just completely losing my battle with this particular theme, it's just too much, I'm already becoming an alcoholic just to get a relief from the unbearable overawareness I have