I feel like giving up. Opposite of what I’ve been manifesting happened

I’m actually devastated. To give some background, I am a gay man who fell in love with my (as it turned out) straight friend. I thought we had something going on because he was giving me mixed signals. I don’t want to stereotype, but he acted in a way that made me think he might be gay, and I assumed that, due to his Catholic beliefs, he was suppressing his sexuality. Two years ago, I confessed my feelings to him, but he rejected me, saying he didn’t feel the same way.

This happened before I learned about Neville, and I could clearly see how I had manifested every situation. Everything I feared, every state I dwelled in, came to pass. I didn’t want to lose him or our friendship, which had lasted three years. We decided to maintain our friendship and forget about it. Since we were both part of the same group of friends, it would have been hard to go separate ways without destroying that group. Part of me was grateful that I could still have him in my life as a friend, believing it was better than not having him at all, but another part of me was still longing for his love.

I discovered Neville, learned about EIYPO and the importance of persistence, while also being inspired by other people’s success stories, I decided to give it a try. For a year and a half, I was falling asleep imagining him next to me, in a happy relationship. I changed how I felt about him and myself, thinking I was doing everything perfectly. At the same time, we were still meeting with our friends, and I tried not to show that I still had feelings for him, so that he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

I thought things were really good between us, and although we didn’t hang out one-on-one, our group gatherings over the past two years were the most fun. We were planning a trip to Spain together and a Halloween party. I thought he had forgotten about that situation, considering how much time had passed. And although I lived with the belief that we would be together one day, I fully accepted our current situation. I didn’t make any moves toward him in the physical world out of respect for his decision.

Two days ago, we all went out for a beer together, and yesterday I got a message from him saying we should meet up one-on-one and talk. I thought that finally, the time had come when my manifestation would become reality. I hoped that maybe he wanted to confess his love to me. It turned out I couldn’t have been more wrong. He said we should end this, that he had been trying for the past two years to forget about it and act normally, but it was too uncomfortable for him. I was shocked, my hands were shaking, and I couldn’t process what he was saying. I asked if I had done something wrong or said anything that made him uncomfortable, but he said no, it wasn’t my fault, I hadn’t done anything wrong, but he couldn’t live like this anymore. I told him I didn’t fully understand his decision, but I respected it. We decided we would tell our friends that we simply had an argument and that we wouldn’t be able to hang out together anymore.

I feel so empty inside and I don’t know what to believe anymore, and it hurts that our 5-year friendship ended in a single day because of a confession I made two years ago.

My thoughts were pure, and of course sometimes doubt slipped in, but for so long I lived with the belief that we were together that I even stopped desiring the relationship, knowing it was already mine. Now I feel like I wasted so much time when I could have been manifesting a relationship with someone new, but I was sure there was a reason why I felt such strong feelings for him, why he was my desire and not anyone else. I trusted Neville, who said that the moment desire arises, it is linked to its realization if I just accept it, and I believed that somewhere on a subconscious level, he desired the same as I did and we were meant to be.

I don’t know what to do. Persisting feels pointless because I can’t even imagine what a bridge of incidents would look like after this whole mess, but I don’t want to give up because I still believe it is within reach. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I really wish I could believe that there are no limits to the law, but most success stories with SPs involve getting back with an ex, which is more likely than my situation. I would like to hear some success stories with truly impossible circumstances or get your honest opinion on whether I have any chance of success.

Edit: Wow, thank you for so many responses. I’ll try to respond to at least most of them when I have some more free time. For now, I see that the answers are divided. I’m glad that my post has sparked a discussion about free will in my ‘extreme’ case. I just want to emphasize once again that I had no bad intentions and made sure he felt comfortable in my presence. I didn’t want to change him and make him my boyfriend, I just tried to change myself and become his boyfriend, if you even see the difference.