i'm done with the insurance system (not usa but still). i hate it. i'm scared.

hello! i was diagnosed with MS this september and now i enterted a whole new stage of fear. i made my peace with having MS, physically i'm doing well, i read a lot on this sub and came to the conclusion that with modern medicine and the medicine coming i can expect a fairly normal life (especially given i was diagnosed very early and don't have any permanent symptoms yet, that makes me feel like i have time before it becomes debilitating and i'm not able to cope, i also had negative lp and my first symptom was eye related, no spine lesions, all those good prognostic criteria). i started ocrevus this november (another great news on my "gonna have a good life" journey), but then i was introduced to the insurance system in my country and found out it's not that simple. in my country, we have a public health insurance system - everyone pays a percentage of their income and then everyone can get treatment for any health problem for free. the insurance companies have to pay for the MS medicine, ocrevus is considered first line treatment, so i thought, no problem, what a great system. than they denied getting me any treatment. i had sooooo much luck that subQ ocrevus came this autumn and the hospital had samples, they gave me those, said the next doses should be no trouble, but this event sent me to mental hell. i wrote an e-mail to the insurance company, they replied with auto-response saying something totally different than what i asked - if they are going to pay for it. today i also read an article about lowering budget for MS and other medical centres in my country, despite the budget being already low and not enough to pay for all the treatment needed. i'm so scared they are going to leave me untreated and i can't do anything about it. i'll try talking more to the insurance company, but honestly now i just hate them, i feel betrayed, they from and office table decided that my MS is not going to be treated and i'm supposed to do what, make peace with the surely coming disability? when we have so many great treatment options? i'm scared, i'm scared that my life is going to be lived in fear of them deciding whether they will pay for the next dose. i'm so angry and lost. why why why, why after making peace with MS i have to deal with this? it feels endless and i'm crying in school. it's too much for me. we have so great treatment options but someone has to pay for it first :(((( i'm so angry, i didn't choose this disease, i don't want to be an expensive patient and these things are making me feel guilty for it. argh argh. sorry for ranting, hope you have a better day