My partner(32M) may be a catfish and I(31F) don't know how to move forward

My partner and I have been talking for 10 months. We met in a video game and added each other on socials shortly after. Except they 'didn't have socials' and made new accounts so we could communicate outside of our game. That was the first red flag. I decided to look past it, some people really don't use social media and we had a really good connection.

We continued talking, and we both developed feelings rather quickly. I never would have thought I can have such strong feelings for someone I had never met, but it happened.

Since we've been talking, I've shared my entire life with this person in photos/videos and haven't gotten anything in return. Second red flag. They say they are shy/insecure and that's the only reason why, but it doesn't make sense to me. They refuse to even talk on the phone with me, send a voice clip, video chat or share even a single selfie. At this point in our relationship I feel it's been too long, and our feelings (if true and mutual) should overshadow any insecurities in their mind. I desire basic human connection, and I cannot understand why they do not if they love me like they claim.

I say partner when I refer to them because we treat each other like so, but we are not bf/gf. I cannot make that kind of commitment without verifying their identity.

In the last couple of months I've started to pull away, put walls up, communicate less because having a text/chat only relationship isn't what I want in life. I've been direct with them about this. I've explained I want something real and have made attempts at meeting irl. They rejected my attempts, but don't see it as a rejection because they say they want to meet me just not now. Third red flag. Me being distant has caused us to fight often, which makes me more distant and we've been going around in toxic circles over this for some time.

I just can't seem to logically invest all of my time into someone who won't build anything real, but my heart is hurting and my mind is in constant chaos overthinking because I want this to work out so bad. I'm not sure how to move forward if they continue to want an only text/chat style relationship. I can't get over the feeling that they may be hiding something and catfishing me for some reason I've yet to determine.

Is there a way I can make them feel comfortable enough with me to simply talk on the phone, video chat or send me pictures? Is 10 months too soon to want to meet irl? Does this sound like a catfish situation to any of you?

I'm a hopeless romantic, I give my all when I'm in love. Sometimes it can be too much, maybe I'm coming on too strong. They are heartbroken that I've pulled away, and have been mentioning the idea of self harm around (fourth red flag) because they feel like I don't love them anymore and say I'm their only light in life. This puts me in an unbelievably difficult position since I am unhappy and feel rejected. I don't know how to move forward, so any/all comments, advice, suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: My partner won't talk to me on the phone, send me any selfies, and wants to stay in a text/chat only style relationship for an undetermined amount of time. What can I do to make them feel comfortable with me? Is it possible I am being catfished? Should I continue to be patient or should I cut my losses and try to find something real if they continue to refuse to be transparent?