I lost my pigeon

I am truly going through it. I started feeding pigeons in the past few months because they make me happy. I’ve been on the hunt for the birdling pigeon so I could bring it with me when I feed the pigeons. I went on a trip to London a few days ago hoping to find the pigeon birdling. I managed to find the pigeon birdling in Waterstones!! It was the last one! I brought the pigeon everywhere with me. And yesterday I lost it in a very busy area of London. I am absolutely devastated. I’m not doing great mentally, so this has really ruined me. I know it sounds so silly, I just need to vent my sadness. I miss my pigeon so much.