Mom overdosed because I fucked my exam (22s1)

So for the background, JEE was never my thing, I never tried hard enough to prepare for this exam. My mock scores were above 160 if I tried and if I didn't they would fall as low till 30's. My coaching started taking full mocks from december I scored smthg in 20-30 in my first mock but later it stretched till 90's till mid december. I was happy considering if I pushed myself more I could get till 150 (hopium i know). but from 26 dec I started suffering from major health issues and was later admitted in hospital till 19 Jan. Yet my parents and relatives forced me to give the exam. I knew I was doomed. Had panic attack night before 22nd and before going to the exam center. Heck even while writing the exam my head started throbbing so much it made my mind blank. I could even remember the simplest formulae. Fuck I even might score in negative. I cried for the whole day. Anyways. It was yesterday midnight when I woke to due to a sudden noise and found my mother lying unconscious in bathroom. She had taken bunch of painkillers. I called my dad and we rushed to hospital. 6 hrs later my mom gains consciousness. After doing checkup and stuff the doctors and my dad leave the room, I hugged my mom and started crying asking her why she did this. She had blank facial expressions, she looked straight in my eyes and said "agar ek aur exam kharab gaya tho tere samne latak jaungi".

this happened like 30 mins ago. I have no idea what to do? am sitting in the hospital's bathroom bawling my eyes out. fuck I can't believe a person wants to off themself because of me. My hands are shaking. Do I even deserve to live? I don't wanna share this with my irl friends; they have their exam on 28th and making them worry is the last thing I wanna do. My whole family hates me. I feel hopeless.

Sorry for the rant.