What I’ve learned so far from dating apps

General Physique: High protein diet, replace carbs with complex carbs, slight calorie deficit and body weight exercises should get you an okay physique in a few months. Everyone has a jawline. No one’s skull is totally rounded you just have a little baby fat. You might not look like a model at the end of it, but a little self love goes a long way.

Photography: I don’t know shit about photography. Find someone who does, hang out with them and ask them to take nice pictures. Do some fun activities and relax.

Conversation: have fun, there’s a lot of people with a lot of trauma especially from dating. Be aware and kind and don’t send sexually charged messages unless you can gauge interest. Speak to someone as you would to a friend, keep your power balance centred it will really help you find people on your wavelength. If you find them attractive find a creative way to let them know, but first establish conversational flow. Ask for socials/number and set up a date when you feel comfortable in the conversation. Comfort is contagious.

Mindset: I wasn’t an attractive person, I worked on my body and it became attractive, I may have gotten laid off it but it also invited conflict. I made my mind attractive by letting go of the need of validation. We will all die one day, our bodies will wither far before that, if your happiness is based on how you look, when it leaves so will your happiness. The most fun from sexual experience comes from relaxation, even to commit the most unhinged sexual acts known to humanity. I didn’t need a six pack, or a fancy car, just true empathy, that can’t be based on weakness or hedging my bets by being a suck up.

Rejection: every time I objectified a relation or a hookup, I also objectified myself. Be kind to yourself first, kindness to others will come. Realistically you will settle down for one good person in your life who accepts your crap and you accept theirs but still look forward to seeing each-other every day. Take rejection as what it is, a filtration process, don’t push matters of the soul. Bootstrapping a broken relationship either by being pushy on text or even trying to keep a person in your life when they aren’t meant to be is only deepening the wound of loneliness and pain.

This isn’t advice, it’s what I learned, what you learned might be different. I’m no dating expert nor do I want to be. The only thing casual sex ever provided was the inflation of my ego, the ego itself pushed people away. The only thing a relationship out of loneliness provided was attracting another lonely person till we wore each-other out. I don’t know you guys, but I want the best for you.

I’m deleting the app, it did what it had to do. It only did when I stopped trying to make it do something me.