The Church of Eagle Strafing Run
Fellow Stradivers, gather ‘round the sacred beacon as we sing praises to the one true savior: Strafing Run.
Oh no! Bots are swarming! Squids are circling! There’s a patrol on the way, and you’ve got THREE fabricators while your empty loadout cries in the corner. It’s game over, right? WRONG. Because YOU, my friend, have Strafing Run. And with that glorious stratagem in your arsenal, it’s not just a win—it’s an absolute demolition.
Why is Strafing Run the hero we deserve?
All the BOOM, none of the fuss: Got heavies or a MASSIVE patrol coming on your way? Forget the 110mm or cluster bomb—they’re just warm-ups. Strafing Run is here to clear the field in one glorious, sweeping strike.
Bases? We don’t do bases: Why walk into a base filled with enemies when Strafing Run can do the job for you? Throw it right, and those fabricators are toast before you even break a sweat.
Hulks? Pfft, no problem: Anti-tank weapons? Who needs ‘em? With a perfectly placed throw, that big ugly hulk will go poof.
Learn the sacred path: Memorize its trajectory, and you’ll never fear danger again. You’ll become the danger. Your enemies won’t even look up anymore—they’ll just accept their fate.
FUN FACT: when you throw a Strafing Run to obliterate enemies in a Point of Interest, the few remaining survivors will pause, look up at Eagle-1 streaking across the sky, and rethink every life choice that led them to this moment.
But here’s the catch, my fellow freedom-bringers: it’s all about the throw. Throw it wrong, and you’ll get nothing but a fancy fireworks show. Throw it right, and the battlefield bends to your will. It’s a skill, a craft, an art. A Stradiver who masters the throw becomes an unstoppable force of liberation.
So, what are you waiting for? Strap on your boots, salute Super Earth, and rain divine justice on our enemies.
All hail Strafing Run! May its path always be true.
Fellow Stradivers, gather ‘round the sacred beacon as we sing praises to the one true savior: Strafing Run.
Oh no! Bots are swarming! Squids are circling! There’s a patrol on the way, and you’ve got THREE fabricators while your empty loadout cries in the corner. It’s game over, right? WRONG. Because YOU, my friend, have Strafing Run. And with that glorious stratagem in your arsenal, it’s not just a win—it’s an absolute demolition.
Why is Strafing Run the hero we deserve?
All the BOOM, none of the fuss: Got heavies or a MASSIVE patrol coming on your way? Forget the 110mm or cluster bomb—they’re just warm-ups. Strafing Run is here to clear the field in one glorious, sweeping strike.
Bases? We don’t do bases: Why walk into a base filled with enemies when Strafing Run can do the job for you? Throw it right, and those fabricators are toast before you even break a sweat.
Hulks? Pfft, no problem: Anti-tank weapons? Who needs ‘em? With a perfectly placed throw, that big ugly hulk will go poof.
Learn the sacred path: Memorize its trajectory, and you’ll never fear danger again. You’ll become the danger. Your enemies won’t even look up anymore—they’ll just accept their fate.
FUN FACT: when you throw a Strafing Run to obliterate enemies in a Point of Interest, the few remaining survivors will pause, look up at Eagle-1 streaking across the sky, and rethink every life choice that led them to this moment.
But here’s the catch, my fellow freedom-bringers: it’s all about the throw. Throw it wrong, and you’ll get nothing but a fancy fireworks show. Throw it right, and the battlefield bends to your will. It’s a skill, a craft, an art. A Stradiver who masters the throw becomes an unstoppable force of liberation.
So, what are you waiting for? Strap on your boots, salute Super Earth, and rain divine justice on our enemies.
All hail Strafing Run! May its path always be true.