THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME LIKE THESE TWO
Dan and Vanessa are arguably two of the most insufferable characters on Gossip Girl, and their combined energy could drain the life out of even the most dramatic episodes. Let’s start with Dan “Holier-Than-Thou” Humphrey. Dan constantly judges the Upper East Siders for their privilege and moral shortcomings, yet he spends the entire series desperately trying to infiltrate their world. He’s quick to condemn their behavior but has no problem benefitting from it when it suits him. Take his infamous exposé Inside, for example: he writes a whole book dragging everyone in his life but enjoys every single perk of being Lonely Boy turned It Boy. The hypocrisy is unbearable. Let’s not forget the ridiculousness of him being Gossip Girl. How does someone who claims to value integrity run a blog that ruins lives—including his own sister’s? The mental gymnastics are exhausting. Dan also has a perpetual victim complex. He acts like the world is out to get him, but the truth is most of his problems are self-inflicted. And his “I’m just a humble Brooklynite” act? It’s old, especially when he’s living rent-free in a massive loft his dad owns in one of NYC’s priciest neighborhoods.
Now, let’s drag Vanessa “I’m Not Like Other Girls” Abrams. Vanessa loves to position herself as the voice of reason, the outsider who’s too indie and authentic for the Upper East Side’s drama. But here’s the thing: she’s just as messy as everyone else. Whether she’s blackmailing people, scheming for a film grant, or dating literally every male lead on the show, Vanessa is knee-deep in the drama she pretends to despise. Her relationships were awkward at best and unbearable at worst, from the forced chemistry with Dan to whatever that disaster with Nate was. Vanessa’s holier-than-thou attitude made her unbearable. She would constantly preach about being above the drama or privilege, all while conveniently taking advantage of it whenever it benefited her. And don’t even get me started on her endless speeches about filmmaking or “the struggle.”
When Dan and Vanessa teamed up, it was a perfect storm of insufferable energy. Their combined self-righteousness was exhausting. They’d sit in their Brooklyn coffee shops whining about how shallow the Upper East Side was, only to throw themselves back into the chaos at the first chance. Their constant moral posturing made them seem like the kind of people who bring hummus to a steakhouse and expect applause. Together, Dan and Vanessa embody the worst traits of self-proclaimed outsiders who secretly crave the spotlight. It’s no surprise they’re among the least-missed characters on the show.
Dan and Vanessa are arguably two of the most insufferable characters on Gossip Girl, and their combined energy could drain the life out of even the most dramatic episodes. Let’s start with Dan “Holier-Than-Thou” Humphrey. Dan constantly judges the Upper East Siders for their privilege and moral shortcomings, yet he spends the entire series desperately trying to infiltrate their world. He’s quick to condemn their behavior but has no problem benefitting from it when it suits him. Take his infamous exposé Inside, for example: he writes a whole book dragging everyone in his life but enjoys every single perk of being Lonely Boy turned It Boy. The hypocrisy is unbearable. Let’s not forget the ridiculousness of him being Gossip Girl. How does someone who claims to value integrity run a blog that ruins lives—including his own sister’s? The mental gymnastics are exhausting. Dan also has a perpetual victim complex. He acts like the world is out to get him, but the truth is most of his problems are self-inflicted. And his “I’m just a humble Brooklynite” act? It’s old, especially when he’s living rent-free in a massive loft his dad owns in one of NYC’s priciest neighborhoods.
Now, let’s drag Vanessa “I’m Not Like Other Girls” Abrams. Vanessa loves to position herself as the voice of reason, the outsider who’s too indie and authentic for the Upper East Side’s drama. But here’s the thing: she’s just as messy as everyone else. Whether she’s blackmailing people, scheming for a film grant, or dating literally every male lead on the show, Vanessa is knee-deep in the drama she pretends to despise. Her relationships were awkward at best and unbearable at worst, from the forced chemistry with Dan to whatever that disaster with Nate was. Vanessa’s holier-than-thou attitude made her unbearable. She would constantly preach about being above the drama or privilege, all while conveniently taking advantage of it whenever it benefited her. And don’t even get me started on her endless speeches about filmmaking or “the struggle.”
When Dan and Vanessa teamed up, it was a perfect storm of insufferable energy. Their combined self-righteousness was exhausting. They’d sit in their Brooklyn coffee shops whining about how shallow the Upper East Side was, only to throw themselves back into the chaos at the first chance. Their constant moral posturing made them seem like the kind of people who bring hummus to a steakhouse and expect applause. Together, Dan and Vanessa embody the worst traits of self-proclaimed outsiders who secretly crave the spotlight. It’s no surprise they’re among the least-missed characters on the show.