Just say "yes"!

I was about 15 or 16 years old. My mom bursts into my room, phone in hand, and says, “Hey! I’m on the line with a lady from the office, and she needs to confirm your identity. Just take the phone, tell her your name, and confirm that you are, well, you!”

A little surprised, I grab the phone and say, “Hello?” And I hear, “Good morning. This is Ms. XYZ from ABC Bank. Am I speaking with [my full name]?”
I awkwardly respond, “Yesss…”
“Wonderful! That’s all I needed!” says the lady on the phone.

But something feels off. I know my mom too well. She’s a terrible, selfish, vindictive person. So, I ask the bank lady,
“Wait, what’s this about?”
She responds, slightly confused,
“Well, we’re setting up a credit card for you! For teenagers! It’s a gift from your mother!”
So I ask,
“Will my mom have access to this card? Like, can she use it on my behalf?”
“Oh, of course! Since it’s a minor’s card, the legal guardian is responsible.”
“But I don’t want a card! I don’t need one!”

At this point, my mom rips the phone out of my hand and starts assuring the bank lady that my identity was confirmed and they can go ahead and send her (HER!) the card.

And there it is—the punchline. I was never supposed to see that card. My mom had already maxed out the credit on all her cards, racked up debt on every account, so she decided to open new ones—in my name.

To make this even more absurd, let me paint the picture: My mom got an apartment in the most popular tourist spot in our country as part of her divorce settlement from my father. Right in the center of town. And she lost it because she put it into debt. And it happened even though her new husband made so much money and gave her so much, that she’d go to shop for clothes in London and fly to Egypt for weekend trips, she still managed to blow it all. Then, two years before I was even legally an adult, she tried to screw me over financially, before I’d even had the chance to build any credit at all...