Am I truly myself sober or on drugs

What is considered being truly myself. I feel like without any supstance I’m quite supressed in everyday life. In the other hand while being on something, I feel like my true self finaly comes out. I feel like I’m completely open without holding back. All the stress and everyday bullshit disappear. So is the first one, sober version, really me. Or is the “freed” and opened version really my personality?