I’m torn

My wife and I adopted a golden retriever puppy. He’s the cutest boy ever and still very good looking. He’s almost 4 but since day 1, he’s not the type to cuddle or wanting to be around us much. For example, If the both of us are just chilling in the living room, he would sometimes just go to the bathroom on his own. He’s extremely hyper active. He’s the type to have a toy in his mouth wit my his tail wagging as soon as I get home. He’s well trained at home but when outside, he constantly and I mean constantly pull. We’ve been through training and all that jazz but it seems like he doesn’t give a damn about us. He has pulled my father in law, mother in law, sister in law down to the ground. Heck, he has even pulled me down when he lunged at a dog. So whenever I walk him, I’m always in hyper alert mode. For example x last night I was sitting outside with him on a bench when a stranger approached and asked for a lighter. He immediately lunged towards her and since he’s connected to me via hip belt and his leash/collar, I get yanked along. The same thing happened this morning when another dog was walking pass us, he immediately darted towards it and dragged me by the hips a few feet. I feel like he just doesn’t give a fuck about me. He knows every time he does things like that, he gets a negative reaction and yet he still does it. When he sees another dog, he just reacts and lunges. Mind you, he’s about 80 pounds and muscular. I find it so disheartening and sad that I can’t trust my wife to walk him with our 1 year old daughter. The thing I hate the most is when we go on walks, he always try to get in front and I pull him back. So he’ll slowly look at me and pull ahead. I’ve tried turning around and walking the other way but if I keep doing that, we are never gonna get pass the first block. At times, I feel more joy walking by myself. I love the guy but I’m starting to resent him. Another thing is when I take him out to play, he never wants to play with me. He just wonders off on his own to sniff and mark. His recall is horrible. He knows I’m calling him and he runs away or he’ll look at me and continue his business or completely ignores me. I understand the call command comes with a slight soft grab on the neck so it’s not just a recall where he looks. I’ve tried to train the recall includes a touch. The worst part is just he’ll just take off and start jumping on other people. Strangers think it’s cute but they don’t understand what kind of liability he his. It’s not so funny and cute if he’s jumping all over a pregnant woman or a small child. We’re at the point now where my wife wants nothing to do with him and I can see why. I don’t want to give up on him but every time I walk him, I’m on a short fuse. He’s 4 years old and he can’t seem to understand what makes us happy. The part I hate the most is he gets jealous with my Daugher. He’s suppose ti love and protect her, but he gets jealous. That alone right there makes me want to give him up. Sorry for the rambling, I feel like im doing too much without anything in return. I don’t feel like he loves us or he is incapable of showing love. He keeps doing thing to make us unhappy. He does something we don’t like and he gets a negative reaction and yet he still continues to do it. Like when he’s fixated on a certain spot, he will pull me as if he’s fighting me. It’s so bad that when he goes to the dog park, you can slowly see the other dogs and their owner leave. Petco refused to bathe him and groom him. Every groomer we’ve taken him too always gives us the cold shoulder afterwards. What to do? Should I starve his ass so he listens? He just doesn’t give a shit. Any advice please?