DAE get really irritated whenever people under fifty carry on like they're fucking ancient?

Yes, Jessica, I know you have one foot in the grave at thirty three years old. Your hip just spontaneously broke because you suffered the humiliation of admitting to a teenager that you can program a VCR. You're sooooooo ooooooooold. We get it.

Please for the love of god can you just be normal about it

ETA: From the dosnvotes it looks like I've triggered the thirty somethings. Jesus Christ, this is sad.