My player’s entire personality is just sex.

The title isn’t clickbait. I have no other way to explain how this is even happening.

Okay, so. I just moved in to a new place with a bunch of my friends. They’re awesome, and I really wanted to start up a small campaign we could all play in since we spent so much time together. Many of my friends had never played before and they all really liked the sound of it. So, they made their characters, sent me some backstory, and we were almost good to go. That is, however, until one player in particular sent me their backstory.

I’ve heard the trope many times throughout my years of playing, particularly linked with bards, where one character just wants to flirt with everything- and that’s fine, I can work with that. No, no this character’s entire personality was just sex. They have a ‘deal’ with a deity where as long as they retrieve ‘items of personal value’, they will progressively get pieces of their friend back- who was once stolen away by said deity.

Initially I thought, alright, that’s cool, how are you going about this? These are some of the things they said:

“Oh my character will do ANYTHING to get what they want” “My only goal with this campaign is to flirt and fuck everything” “Oh they definitely have a list of all the different races they’ve slept with, including details on certain bits- if you know what I mean” “Oh they’ll never actually fight people, I’m just gonna roll to seduce”

I AM NOT JOKING. THOSE ARE REAL QUOTES.

I’m really, really struggling how to work my way around this. When speaking to my other players they’ve all said it’s a very uncomfortable scenario, and their characters just wouldn’t like them at all. I really want this campaign to work out, but they’re adamant on being this character and I’ve got no real right in making them change it?

I’m drawing a blank on how to fit them in. What kind of character progression can you have if all you want to do is sleep with people? How are you going to help your party when you’re rolling again and again to seduce? And what if you succeed? How anticlimactic is that going to be for the others?

I really don’t know. I’d love some advice here, even if it’s the smallest thing. I love my friends and ideally I don’t want anything to break apart over a simple DnD campaign.