First-date disaster with a psycho

This just goes to show we can't tell a book by its cover. I matched with a nice-looking man on the apps whose bio showed he was seven years younger then me and that he was semi-retired, a former chiropractor, physician, author and entrepreneur.

We exchanged texts and discovered we had a lot in common on some esoteric and spiritual subjects, so I felt comfortable, even excited, to meet for coffee.

He looked even younger than his photo. I told him I was surprised he swiped on me, given the age difference. Then he admitted he's actually a year older than me. So he lied about his age, which wasn't that big of a deal since it removed the age difference from my concerns.

He brought up that he calls himself a physician because there's a certain stigma in health care for chiropractic despite both being healing disciplines. So he lied about his degree. I asked him about his writing, since being an "author" indicates he's been published. He said he's got a fully fledged book in his head and that he was considering having AI write it. So he lied about being an author.

The more comfortable he got, the more he shared about his beliefs. He's anti-mask, anti-vax, etc., which is strange for someone who worked in health care, but whatever. When he started getting into fringe conspiracy theories about government cabals, hidden power brokers, etc. I asked if he was MAGA. He said no but that he voted for Trump because of his advocacy for digital currency and that he would never vote for Harris, who is corrupt. He asked what I thought about that. I said Trump represents everything I'm against and that I doubted the two of us would have any kind of future together. (In truth, this conclusion wasn't based just on his politics; it was based on his lying and his politics.)

Then he exploded.

He said he should just leave right then, that I was close-minded, judgmental, a hypocrite, and so on. His voice got louder as he hurled abuse at me personally.

Then he tried bargaining, saying we never should have talked about politics, let's go back and pretend we didn't. He kept saying he couldn't believe I was so rigid that I would reject him for how he voted, and what an utter waste of time this date was.

I remained calm and said it's not about politics, but rather shared values. I told him that the reason we go on these coffee dates is to get to know someone and see we have mutual interests and beliefs -- the foundations of any lasting relationship. Clearly, we differed in some fundamental ways.

I put on my coat and said it was nice to meet him. He said he wished he could say the same thing, then stormed out. I asked a woman sitting alone at the next table if she heard all that. She said yes, and that she would have stepped in if he had gotten more heated.

If he was that reactive and accusatory on a first date, imagine what a nightmare he'd be in a relationship. As soon as I got in my car I blocked him, hopefully for good.

Now I'm considering getting off the apps altogether. If someone who seemed so normal could turn out to be a menace, then the dating landscape is truly terrifying.