For Fun: what's the worst recipe instruction you've encountered?

Obviously everyone lies about onion timings. But what other egregious errors have you encountered? Bad conversions, stupid instructions, ingredients that never reappear, etc. My favourite two are:

Rubix-cube pumpkin Jamie Oliver's recipe for Moroccan tagine said to cut the pumpkin into THREE-INCH CUBES. Yeah, I'm just tucking into this stew with rubix-cube sized veg, mate. Thankfully no pumpkin permits that size. And I knew better. Unlike...

The Bread Balls The first time I made meatballs, I followed a Guardian article I saved which said 300g of breadcrumbs. It looked like a lot, but what did I know? I'd never made meatballs before! The dessicated zombie-head things I had wrought sucked in every drop of moisture from the sauce and were still dry as Saharan sand. I returned to the original recipe, and... "minor correction", 30g breadcrumbs. The comments were full of a similarly fooled tribe. A desert tribe, if you will.