Catch 22 anyway I look at it 🤦🏾♂️
So I’ve had a girlfriend for about 10 years now, and when we met I was getting out of the service & getting into school & so was she. We dated throughout college and then we both spent a year or two to secure jobs and just build ourselves up. I’m 35(M) and my girlfriend is 29(F). Now that we’re settled, marriage has been coming up over the past 3-4 years. My issues isn’t that I don’t want to get married, but I know that not only are the divorce rates high but also we share a lot of different views on politics, raising children, religion, & etc. Now this isn’t a dealbreaker right now, as we don’t have kids but if I were to marry someone, I need similar beliefs. With that said, I’m not trying to change someone to conform to what I need them to be for us to go forward. The “catch 22” I face and maybe this is bc I’m just a logical thinker, idk but it’s:
- Stay dating. Write a living will & put her into it. Take out insurance and put her name on it if I pass away. Living like this is sin bc of course we do have sex before marriage, so I’d be condemning myself for eternity
BUT
- Get married but since the chances of things not working out is high, not only would alimony (half) set me back but if we decided to have kids, I’d have to pay child support. Like for example I’d most likely pay say $1300 in child support, & tbh I have a kid from a previous relationship, and when me and her was together, our kid didn’t live off of $1300 a month. Maybe as a family, but not just for the kid if that makes sense.
Rediscovered my faith & I’m trying to do things right as I get older and wiser. Just wanted advice from people who are Christian and who have or are married right now. Thank you 🙏🏾