I don't know why I'm doing this...

I feel like I should give some context! So here is the situation... I met my ex(Joey) in May 2022, When I met him he told me he had an ex-wife and 5-year-old daughter. We were both in active fentanyl addiction. He went to jail in July 2022. I found out I was pregnant in November 2022. Yes, I was about 6 months along when I finally found out. I immediately got ahold of my family and got sober, and went to treatment November 25th-December 22nd. My mom bailed him out of jail December 28th. We were staying in an AirBnB near my parents property(I was able to get $$ to stay for 3weeks from a pregnancy assistance program) Then we stayed at my parents while they were in Hawaii. Everything was going well until... He brought drugs home Feb 4th 2023. I relapsed as well. Felt TERRIBLE!!!! Told him he had to move out, yes I understand I made a mistake as well, & he isn't to blame for my actions. I explained to him that I prefer if we each had some time sober before living together. He completely understood, and went to stay with a friend. My parents got home Feb 5th, I went into labor the next evening Feb 6th.... He came to the hospital high on opiates so I did not let him see Mathea (our daughter) He kept in contact until about May/June 2023. Then I hadn't heard from him until about a week ago. I received a message on FB from a sister of his I had never met saying Joey called their mom from jail, apparently he got arrested December 19th. Anyways the message was her reaching out because they had no idea Mathea and I existed. So I've been in contact with his mother. She is very sweet and understanding of my boundaries. She's just happy to have heard from her son for the first time in 3 years! She had asked me if I would give her my number because Joey wanted to call me, I told her I wasn't comfortable with that but he could message me through the jail email system. I have no desire to keep Mathea from Joey. Even when he wasn't talking to me I still periodically sent him pictures of her and let him know how she was doing, with no response in over a year. So I have been talking to him through the jail email, he has been the same polite, respectful person I met in May of 2022.. He says he wants to stay clean and be a part of our lives... As much as I would love to wholeheartedly believe him, I've been through addiction, I know how powerful it is. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I don't know that I would've ever gotten clean... I want Mathea to know her dad, but she'll be 2 in a couple weeks and has never even seen or talked to him. I'm not going to just let him POP up suddenly, especially when he is only sober because he's in jail. I want to know he's bettering his life and has stability before he meets Mathea. I hope he goes to treatment when he get's out of jail but until he has some clean time and has worked on himself, I don't feel comfortable with him seeing or talking to our daughter. He's a great person, even when we were on drugs he was not the typical disgusting a-hole drug addict. He also has a girlfriend so I don't know how he plans to be sober when she's using drugs.. It just doesn't work like that, I have made it very clear to him I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship with ANYONE including him. He hasn't asked anything of me. He's actually claimed to have money saved up he wants to give me towards child support, but wants to pay me directly.. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I'm doing the "right thing" by talking to him... I just had to get this off my chest! I have zero friends to talk to. I only have my family, which I am BEYOND grateful for!! Without my family there is no way I would be where I am today! But I can't tell my mom that Joey reached out to me, she'd be extremely uncomfortable and I don't blame her. She put a lot of trust in him, having never met him and bailed him out of jail, then let him stay with me/ in her home. Then he/we relapsed... I'd feel betrayed too.

I don't know what the point of this is. I just need to get shit off my chest and have no friends. I was on drugs for 15 years, so any "friends" I made were really just addiction acquaintances... I don't even know how to make friends now that I'm a sober single mother, trying to rebuild my life!