I suffer from isolation and lonliness

I've tried to mingle with others, but they seem superficial. I can't open my heart to such people. I'm not very interested in having a social life, but more interested in having a few close friends. I found it's not so difficult to be social, join a social group/ community, and occasionally see people and chitchat, but it's tiring and boring. I want more. I want to feel warm in my stomach. I want to feel comfortable and trusted.

I have zero friends and family. Two of my family members molested me. I'm 46. I wonder if I ever find someone willing to be close to me. sigh