Life Hard

Hi. Just want to rant about my life since i got no one to share with.

I'm M26 single, 2/4 siblings from a problematic family (parent). My dad is a retired servant (retired at 42) and mom is a full time tailor at house. My mom is an adopted child to ky grandma and the only child. After she married my dad, they live with my grandma at my grandma house (currently staying).

I cannot describe how irresponsible useless is my dad. When he married my mom, he literally do not need to pay anything. I mean anything like house (my grandma house), bills, school fees, food etc. Everything were paid by my mom and grandma pension. After my grandma passed away, our financial become worse as my dad will claim that he is "working" but when the time comes for payday or salary, he will not give and simply lied. Then he borrow here and there from my mom's friends using her name, borrow bank, along etc.

Since he cannot pay all the debts, he pawned my grandma house to the bank (forcing my mom to sign the paper) Then the along stop bothering since they got their money. I thought after that, he learnt his lesson and going to change but everything remain the same.

He go to "work" and still didn't give any money to our family and guess what, he didn't pay the bank loan and ofcoz our house was lelong. Even when you confront him, he will not admit anything and lie his ass out saying that this house (grandma house) still belongs to my mom. 3 years back, the owner of the house came to our house (at that time we are believing that our house is still our's). The owner requested us to move out since he want to move in. Then we negotiate with the owner to let us rent his house (my grandma house) until my younger brother and sister settle their school. At that time, we confronted this asshole dad and he just lie his ass out and saying he will settle it.

Currently, when we confronted him again regarding the house, he will go mad crazy shouting cursing us. The problem with my mom, she scared of him and she don't want to do anything. Even when me and my older sister got into boarding school, he did not pay a dime. All thr money came from my mom and always borrowing other people. Up until today when my younger siblings got into university, me and my sister are paying for all fees, laptop, monthly allowances. Even now renting our own house, my dad only paid like the first month and then don't bother. My mom worked his ass off to pay for everything with the help of me and my sister.

We advise our mom to divorce him and live by our own but she keep on saying who going to pay for her medical (she got cancer once and cured) (my dad retired government). I think we are reaching the climax as the house owner already said he want to move in so now, me and my sister are looking to rent somewhere.

Fyi, that are only the tip of the Iceberg of the terrible things my dad done. There are many more but it will be too long.

Just a side note of me, I had a crush with a girl i met during uni but only when i started working i managed to get close to her. I met her parent etc and she already thinking about marriage (i was 24 at that time and just started working). I was reluctant and feel really insecure because my family is like this. I dont have saving even until now, so how can i get married. Even if get married, i still need to support my siblings and my mom so marriage is not an option. I did not tell her about my family situation and distance myself from her. She is from a religious family so she already set in her mind to get married around 25ish. Since i distance myself, we went seperate ways.

Today, i found out she got married today 🙃. At first, i felt really shit but now, I'm glad for her. But, in corner of my heart, that could've been me 😞. Then i just delete her contact, socmed etc so that i won't be able to see her wedding stories.

Now, I'm feeling empty, hopeless, stressed but ya, life must go on.

Anyways, let see how this thing unfold.